on scruffy models and large asians

- League of Legends is currently consuming all of my free time. It’s too damn addicting! Once you start playing you don’t ever want to stop. Really, queuing for “just one match” is a figment of imagination. I’m still playing mostly the sad mummy Amumu with the Emumu skin (“let’s make some friends!” - awww SO adorable!) and Garen (so incredibly brave and sexy, even though he’s a cheap overpowered bastard).

- I finally rediscovered this t-shirt website called Zazzle (thanks to Lost und Found in translation). I was frantically looking for it because of the hot scruffy long-haired bearded model they have, Darren. I’m posting here in the blog so I don’t ever lose it again. Darren must be my favourite models ever, I wish HE was for sale instead of the shirts he’s wearing. The hair, the beard... he's like a sexy hobo.

- Chilean miners say they didn’t have sex with each other while trapped, but nothing is stopping our dirt minds from turning their hardship into a months-long gay sex orgy. I mean, 68 sexless days? Eight were already way too much for me.

- I never cared much about Asian men until I started dating my boyfriend, who’s half-Japanese half-Chinese. Now I love huge Asians like him (he’s 6’1”, very large and exceedingly huggable!). There's this Japanese guy called Toshi who just won a reality TV show here a few minutes ago and wow, he’s gorgeous! Extra-large and handsome to boot, kinda like a Brazilian Dean Cain. It’s a real shame those people are never seen again after the show is over, I could use more meaty Asian eye-candy. Just look at those pecs.

glee and guilty pleasures

I'm not entirely sure why I like Glee so much. The plot is practically non-existent, the songs' renditions are seldom remarkable, despite being very well chosen, and there's no husky daddy type for me to drool over. Heck, any supermanly dude would suffice, but on Glee there's none in sight. Some episodes are dreadful, like the Britney Spears tribute, which actually made me cringe. The excessive use of autotune is appalling at times. Anyway, quality-wise, the show is pretty bad, yet I eagerly look forward to each week's episode.

I think I like it because Glee is gay. I'm not into a lot of gay things, like partying, grooming, fashion and drug usage, but musicals in general – including Glee – are a gay thing I very much appreciate. While the show was a bit gay at first, boy, this second season is as gay as they get. Kurt seemingly wasn’t enough so they actually put lesbo stuff with cheerleaders. Definitely not something I’m personally interested in, but if it’s gay, it’s nice in my book. Besides, mainstream gay teenager TV shows might bring us a step closer to gay videogames, you never know!

My favourite part of this new season so far is probably the new character Sam Evans. He’s played by a kid called Chord Overstreet (he’s only 3 years younger than me, but calling him "kid" makes me feel so superior and mature!), is "Chord" even a name? Anyway, this might be a sign of me turning pedo and it's something I honestly never saw it coming, but Sam is Glee’s Taylor Lautner. You know, the young athletic boy that’s shirtless for most of his screen time and serves solely as eye-candy. Shameful confession: Lautner’s physique from the movie he bulked up onwards gives me a huge boner. At first I thought it was due to my fondness towards brown-skinned guys, but nah, I like him because he’s exploitable jailbait with a smoking body. I guess I really have pedo tendencies OMG.

Now, Chord Overstreet. He’s like a blond Lautner with gorgeous lips. I confess, I never noticed men even had lips before Chord, he REALLY should be taped sucking a dick 'cause with those lips it would be the best cocksucking tape ever. And if the hot lips weren’t enough, there’s still his heavily-exploited twinky body (he appeared in two episodes so far and in both of them he had shirtless scenes – oh, and he’s also shirtless on the next episode’s preview, he’s playing Rocky Horror for fuck’s sake!) and his dyed hair... well, basically, Chord is a piece of hot, objectified (I love objectified men) jailbait material, and the fact he’s exposing his torso almost all the time means Glee could be dropping homophobic slur and I would still watch it. Well, maybe not, but I would definitely get Chord’s shirtless pictures in superherofan.net for some quality masturbation material.

Even though Glee is deeply flawed and ultimately a bad show, it’s very gay-friendly, which is always a good thing. Plus, in an apparent effort to make up for the lack of male eye-candy in the first season, they decided to add the exploitable Chord Overstreet and the gorgeous Cheyenne Jackson (those eyes, those legs, that ass... man, I wish I were Nathan Lane) to the cast, and have a special guest appearance by the unbearably sexy Javier Bardem (*melts*), so, in the end, I guess I shouldn’t feel that guilty of watching it.

nudity and japanese cuisine

Back in the 90s, a popular Sunday afternoon TV show aired a report on a very peculiar type of... well, "Japanese restaurant", I guess, that served sushi literally on the bodies of naked women. It was dubbed "erotic sushi" and the reporters were shown picking sushi with their hashi from the girls' breasts, thighs and other nether parts, then eating it. Needless to say how it raised all sorts of controversy - everyone in Brazil ended up hearing of erotic sushi in a way or another. Honestly, as a kid, I was disgusted, and since it only showed naked women, it obviously wasn't sexually appealing to me. I did feel it was unfair to cater only to the straight dudes. "There really should be a male erotic sushi", I thought. Not that I would ever actually eat rice from a guy's hairy asshole, though, 'cause that's gross.

Several years later, I came to know through Wikipedia that said practice was called nyotaimori (女体盛り), and OMG, there indeed is a male version of it: nantaimori (男体盛り). Bara fans might remember that in Masanori's amazing game, Hunks Work Shop, one of the your possible jobs was serving sushi on your naked bodies - I find those CGs among the hottest in the game, even though I found it repulsive when I was younger. For some really strange reason it's a major turn on for me today. I mean, I still wouldn't EAT the food cause it looks so freaking dirty and contaminated and all, but the whole submission involved is damn hot. Plus it really makes me think of yakuza, which is awesome (in this blog post they say nyotaimori is associated to organized crime - sweet!). I've seen a few pieces of nantaimori-themed artwork from other artists too, so there must be other nerds in the world who also appreciate it.


Porn always having the same basic plot is a pet peeve of mine. In regular porn they talk, kiss, then fuck each other. In kinkier stuff they might beat each other up, then fuck each other, or maybe be tied up, tortured, then raped. It's cool, sure (especially rape), but I really feel they should explore other fetishes especially when you consider the huge list of paraphilia depicted in Japanese porn. Nantaimori would be INSANELY hot with someone like Vince Ferelli or Paul Wagner. They already do leather submission stuff and they already shave those hairy beasts for no apparent reason other than MAKE ME RAGE (this has nothing to do with nantaoimori, I'm just venting. Leave their body hair alone!), might as well have them serve sushi on top of their nude muscular bodies to slimy creepy businessmen-like old guys, maybe mix in a bunch of twinks, and maybe tape their mouths too... you don't even need the sex, the situation is already hot. Perhaps I'm just a freak really but bodybuilder dominated by non-bodybuilder must the greatest thing on earth.

The oddest thing about nantaimori to me, as if it wasn't odd enough, is how in spite of being such a supposed shithole for gay guys, Japan actually has gay erotic sushi. Japan simply makes no sense when it comes to sex.
(and speaking from experience, it's amazing how being sex-starved for a week will make you think of all sorts of possibly nasty and kinky stuff that you once saw and that has even the slightest chance to be a turn-on)

being sexless

I went into surgery on Tuesday and I can't have sex or masturbate for one month.

These have possibly been the longest five days in my life. I don't think I ever wanted something to end so badly as I want these 30 days. Maybe graduation... yeah the last semester of university was a nightmare. But then, at least I could touch myself at night (and day, and afternoon).

A porn addict unable to masturbate must be one of God's finest ironies.

league of legends

Part of the reasons I've been neglecting this blog is that I just recently started playing a free-to-play DotA-clone called League of Legends. My sleep deprivation due to compulsive gaming also reached its peak in a while... going to bed routinely at 2:30 AM sucks, but I can't help it!

After cancelling my WoW account while waiting for Cataclysm (as much as I like Blizzard, paying them $15/month for ZERO content seemed too much like a waste) I decided I needed a new game, and, never having played Defense of the Ancients before, I was rather curious about how 5x5 real-time strategy PvP worked. My favourite games are turn-based strategy games, but I played a lot of single-player Warcraft 2 as a kid and I recall greatly enjoying it. I skipped Starcraft and Warcraft 3 due to my Final Fantasy fanboy phase (just like every RPG nerd), so my RTS experiences were really outdated. LoL's colourful design and free-to-playness lured me in.

LoL is like crack cocaine. Shit is addicting and hazardous to your health. Basically, there is a wide variety of Champions (characters you control) ingame, over 50 of them ranging from handsome greatsword-wielding soldiers to pyromaniac 10-year-old girls, including barbarians, demons, ninjas, a pirate, a female Articuno, a robot very reminiscent of Chrono Trigger and an adorable emo mummy kid! All of them are very distinct from each other, but only 10 of them are playable for free each week: the free-to-play roster rotates every Monday and if you want to have permanent access to a character, you must unlock them by paying either RL cash or "Influence Points" (which is earned as a reward at the end of each match). Otherwise you are forced to choose from among the 10 free champions, which isn't as bad as it might seem, since they usually choose a fair spread among tanks, melee DPS, mages and support characters.

LoL is also very competitive, as expected from a PvP game, so the community isn't that friendly once you gain levels and start playing against non-newbies. Nothing unbearable though; I've met a bunch of jerks, but most of the time it's fine. I compare "Normal" games to Battlegrounds (there are "Rated" games later on, comparable to WoW arenas, with an ELO rating and all that) - it's thrilling as PvP usually is but very laid-back and casual at the same time. Rated matches and their ELO rating surely must be very rage-inducing, I'm not certain I'll ever play ranked. The biggest complain seems to revolve around, as in every free-to-play online game, Brazilians. Everyone hates Brazilians in there. Thankfully they have no way to detect your nationality. Nobody I've played with or against knew I'm Brazilian, so thankfully I haven't been harassed due to my unfortunate place of birth.

I main Garen, the hunky soldier guy, but since lately people have been raping my newbie ass - especially casters like the fallen angel Morgana (personally I would prefer being raped by barbarian king Tryndamere, or spartan soldier Pantheon), I've moved on to Amumu, the cute-but-sad mummy kid (who's a frigging tank - awesome!), and I'm having a blast. Great game!

buenos aires

I made a short trip to Buenos Aires last week, my first time in there. It's a beautiful city, filled with old architecture which I really appreciate. Even though my trip to La Bombonera made me a Boca Juniors fan (the list of clubs I support now is Corinthians, Bayern München, Real Madrid and Boca Juniors), I'd say my favourite things about Buenos Aires were the steak (bife de chorizo is an amazing delicacy. Eating steak twice a day for three days kinda ruined my stomach, though), the ice cream (Persicco is incredible, my favourite flavours are dulce de leche with brownie and crema mascarpone!) and the men. There was this guy who I figured owned the Persicco store in Tucuman x Reconquista (because he wasn't wearing a uniform and he looked very owner-ish)... rugged, manly but still beautiful, almost fashion-model-in-his-late-30's face with slightly grizzling sideburns and so damn meaty thighs you could almost feel through his gray trousers. My boyfriend caught sight of him standing up and apparently he had a gigantic ass, but sadly I didn't had the chance to experience such wonder of nature - he was already sitting behind the counter when I turned to look, all I could see were those thunder thighs. He was amazing.

Oh, I also found it funny that men greeted each other with a kiss on the cheek. I thought that kissing was a gay thing in a gay-friendly town but visibly straight uncle types did it too, it must be usual in there. Pretty cool.

Unfortunately, during my stay I didn't bump into Gonzalo Higuain, the best thing Argentina has ever produced (neverminding the fact he is French-born), so I might have to return to Buenos Aires later (neverminding the fact he plays for a Spanish club) to have a chance at tapping that huge ass!

some great people

For some reason my work’s firewall decided to allow access to basically every site in existence. It went from a tiny whitelist (meaning we could only access work-related government crap sites and some email providers) to a select blacklist (forbidding words like “game”, “porn” and “blog”, although “wordpress”, “ib4f” and “mmo-champion” worked just fine – heh!) to now, allowing almost everything other than Facebook – including YouTube! Good stuff.

Two days ago, Famitsu announced a Tactics Ogre remake by the same team that gave us said masterpiece 15 years ago, Yasumi Matsuno included. It made me so happy I actually cried. I wept over the announcement of a game… I’m such a nerd. Anyway, this inspired me to make a list of some of my favourite people in this world. They are people who never disappoint in what they do.

4. Lateef Crowder (stuntman): he’s Eddy Gordo, there’s not much else to say. I’m a huge Eddy Gordo fan (one of the sexiest fighting characters ever, to me) and when I heard this Brazilian-American stuntman I had never heard of before was going to portray him in the Tekken movie, I had to see if he fit the part. Well, the man is goddamned Eddy Gordo. He’s huge, he’s gorgeous, he’s got the braids and he fucking defies gravity. The man is a monster (a deliciously hot monster, at that). Horrible Portuguese speaker though, but I can forgive him, as long as he takes off his shirt.

3. Keiji Fujiwara (seiyuu, or Japanese voice actor): I fell in love with Keiji Fujiwara first sight (or first hearing?) when I saw (or heard?) Fullmetal Alchemist’s Maes Hughes, several years ago. Back then, I was a huge Asuma fanboy/burgeoning oyaji fanatic and the first Hagaren anime series was newly released (only one or two episodes were out). Hughes was a perfect oyaji: he had facial hair, he was the proud father of a young girl and he was simply adorable in every way possible. But a great deal of his charisma came from his WONDERFUL voice-acting by the masterful Keiji Fujiwara – this man is simply amazing. Considering seiyuu are often typecast into voicing similar characters and mr. Fujiwara tends to get the silly/comedic/scruffy characters (for instance, he voices Shin-chan’s father, Eureka 7’s Holland, Metal Gear Solid 3’s Sigint and frigging Shaggy from Scooby Doo), whenever a new series or game is out, first thing I do is checking if Keiji Fujiwara is voicing anyone. If he is, that means I've already found my favourite character!

2. Yasumi Matsuno (video game creator): around 1994, I was obsessed with a relatively obscure game called Ogre Battle: March of the Black Queen. It was a very peculiar real-time strategy with an entrancing plot and several great mechanics. I only managed to play its sequel, Tactics Ogre: Let Us Cling Together, a few years later, when it was ported to the PS1 and translated. I was in heaven – it was all I wanted in a game. Until I got my dirty nerdy hands in Final Fantasy Tactics, and the world was never the same. The gameplay, the characters, the visuals, the music, the Final Fantasy familiarity and the story: everything about FFT (…other than the translation) was simply perfect. And those three games were handcrafted by the same person of godly caliber, a genius of his time: Yasumi Matsuno. Even the controversial FF12 – it’s most definitely part of my Final Fantasy Top3, in spite of all the hate it gets; I like everything about it, but mostly the Matsuno feel. He, like the others in this list, is someone you can always rely upon, because he never disappoints. Whenever a game has the Matsuno brand, you can be assured it will be mind-blowing. He eats, he breaths, he makes awe-inspiring videogames - that’s just how he is.

1. Shoutaroh Kojima (manga artist and personal god): words cannot describe the greatness that is Kojiman, so I won’t even bother trying. I’ll just say that if I’m addicted to porn, he’s one of the reasons.