Friday, September 24, 2010

nudity and japanese cuisine

Back in the 90s, a popular Sunday afternoon TV show aired a report on a very peculiar type of... well, "Japanese restaurant", I guess, that served sushi literally on the bodies of naked women. It was dubbed "erotic sushi" and the reporters were shown picking sushi with their hashi from the girls' breasts, thighs and other nether parts, then eating it. Needless to say how it raised all sorts of controversy - everyone in Brazil ended up hearing of erotic sushi in a way or another. Honestly, as a kid, I was disgusted, and since it only showed naked women, it obviously wasn't sexually appealing to me. I did feel it was unfair to cater only to the straight dudes. "There really should be a male erotic sushi", I thought. Not that I would ever actually eat rice from a guy's hairy asshole, though, 'cause that's gross.

Several years later, I came to know through Wikipedia that said practice was called nyotaimori (女体盛り), and OMG, there indeed is a male version of it: nantaimori (男体盛り). Bara fans might remember that in Masanori's amazing game, Hunks Work Shop, one of the your possible jobs was serving sushi on your naked bodies - I find those CGs among the hottest in the game, even though I found it repulsive when I was younger. For some really strange reason it's a major turn on for me today. I mean, I still wouldn't EAT the food cause it looks so freaking dirty and contaminated and all, but the whole submission involved is damn hot. Plus it really makes me think of yakuza, which is awesome (in this blog post they say nyotaimori is associated to organized crime - sweet!). I've seen a few pieces of nantaimori-themed artwork from other artists too, so there must be other nerds in the world who also appreciate it.

Porn always having the same basic plot is a pet peeve of mine. In regular porn they talk, kiss, then fuck each other. In kinkier stuff they might beat each other up, then fuck each other, or maybe be tied up, tortured, then raped. It's cool, sure (especially rape), but I really feel they should explore other fetishes especially when you consider the huge list of paraphilia depicted in Japanese porn. Nantaimori would be INSANELY hot with someone like Vince Ferelli or Paul Wagner. They already do leather submission stuff and they already shave those hairy beasts for no apparent reason other than MAKE ME RAGE (this has nothing to do with nantaoimori, I'm just venting. Leave their body hair alone!), might as well have them serve sushi on top of their nude muscular bodies to slimy creepy businessmen-like old guys, maybe mix in a bunch of twinks, and maybe tape their mouths too... you don't even need the sex, the situation is already hot. Perhaps I'm just a freak really but bodybuilder dominated by non-bodybuilder must the greatest thing on earth.

The oddest thing about nantaimori to me, as if it wasn't odd enough, is how in spite of being such a supposed shithole for gay guys, Japan actually has gay erotic sushi. Japan simply makes no sense when it comes to sex.
(and speaking from experience, it's amazing how being sex-starved for a week will make you think of all sorts of possibly nasty and kinky stuff that you once saw and that has even the slightest chance to be a turn-on)

Sunday, September 19, 2010

being sexless

I went into surgery on Tuesday and I can't have sex or masturbate for one month.

These have possibly been the longest five days in my life. I don't think I ever wanted something to end so badly as I want these 30 days. Maybe graduation... yeah the last semester of university was a nightmare. But then, at least I could touch myself at night (and day, and afternoon).

A porn addict unable to masturbate must be one of God's finest ironies.

Monday, September 6, 2010

league of legends

Part of the reasons I've been neglecting this blog is that I just recently started playing a free-to-play DotA-clone called League of Legends. My sleep deprivation due to compulsive gaming also reached its peak in a while... going to bed routinely at 2:30 AM sucks, but I can't help it!

After cancelling my WoW account while waiting for Cataclysm (as much as I like Blizzard, paying them $15/month for ZERO content seemed too much like a waste) I decided I needed a new game, and, never having played Defense of the Ancients before, I was rather curious about how 5x5 real-time strategy PvP worked. My favourite games are turn-based strategy games, but I played a lot of single-player Warcraft 2 as a kid and I recall greatly enjoying it. I skipped Starcraft and Warcraft 3 due to my Final Fantasy fanboy phase (just like every RPG nerd), so my RTS experiences were really outdated. LoL's colourful design and free-to-playness lured me in.

LoL is like crack cocaine. Shit is addicting and hazardous to your health. Basically, there is a wide variety of Champions (characters you control) ingame, over 50 of them ranging from handsome greatsword-wielding soldiers to pyromaniac 10-year-old girls, including barbarians, demons, ninjas, a pirate, a female Articuno, a robot very reminiscent of Chrono Trigger and an adorable emo mummy kid! All of them are very distinct from each other, but only 10 of them are playable for free each week: the free-to-play roster rotates every Monday and if you want to have permanent access to a character, you must unlock them by paying either RL cash or "Influence Points" (which is earned as a reward at the end of each match). Otherwise you are forced to choose from among the 10 free champions, which isn't as bad as it might seem, since they usually choose a fair spread among tanks, melee DPS, mages and support characters.

LoL is also very competitive, as expected from a PvP game, so the community isn't that friendly once you gain levels and start playing against non-newbies. Nothing unbearable though; I've met a bunch of jerks, but most of the time it's fine. I compare "Normal" games to Battlegrounds (there are "Rated" games later on, comparable to WoW arenas, with an ELO rating and all that) - it's thrilling as PvP usually is but very laid-back and casual at the same time. Rated matches and their ELO rating surely must be very rage-inducing, I'm not certain I'll ever play ranked. The biggest complain seems to revolve around, as in every free-to-play online game, Brazilians. Everyone hates Brazilians in there. Thankfully they have no way to detect your nationality. Nobody I've played with or against knew I'm Brazilian, so thankfully I haven't been harassed due to my unfortunate place of birth.

I main Garen, the hunky soldier guy, but since lately people have been raping my newbie ass - especially casters like the fallen angel Morgana (personally I would prefer being raped by barbarian king Tryndamere, or spartan soldier Pantheon), I've moved on to Amumu, the cute-but-sad mummy kid (who's a frigging tank - awesome!), and I'm having a blast. Great game!