Monday, June 28, 2010

world cup's finest men

In celebration of my country's triumph over Chile, I decided to honour the finest men in this World Cup in the form of a top5.

5. Portugal's Raul Meireles

Being young and balding might a kinda crummy combination, but Meireles actually pulls it off quite nicely. Admittedly, he's a bearded Portuguese man and I cannot resist bearded Portuguese men. And those tattoos are really hot... it might sound contradicting but I hate most tattoos. Raul's actually suit him and make him even hotter. Probably because he isn't handsome, but hot in a thuggish way (I love hot thuggish men).

4. Spain's Gerard Piqué

He gives me that Jake Gyllenhaal vibe for some reason, but I find him much sexier than Gyllenhaal. The beard, the eyes and the "rape me please" face. And the body. And... hell, everything, Piqué is amazing in every aspect. Seeing him on the pitch makes me feel like sexually molesting him. I only didn't rate him higher because the top3 is mind-blowing. The whole rumors of him being gay just added to my fantasies and made me love him more.

3. Italy's Daniele de Rossi

Having to order the top3 is a rather pointless endeavour, the guys are simply incredible. I could as well have picked a random order - DDR is number 3 but that doesn't mean he's undeserving of being number two or one (in fact, I think I might be in love with him). He's kinda of a young Daniel Craig, one of my favourite men ever, period, except he manages to look BETTER than DC with his scruffy beard. He also has a penchant for stripping on the pitch (nffffff how can I not love him!), and from what we can see through the underwear, he's nicely endowed. Hot bearded Italian with a big dong who's into taking his clothes off: perfection.

2. USA's Carlos Bocanegra

Ahh, Captain America. He must be the one of the hottest Mexicans ever: Mr. Nice Guy look, beautiful eyes, nice hair, nicely trimmed stubble, great body hair, deliciously thick thighs, sure as hell can take photos, he looks great in every pic I've seen of him. Bocanegra (what a funny name) has got it all. He reminds me of those models in sites like All American Guys, being so perfect in every way it's almost like he's made of plastic. The only flaw I can think of is his arm tattoo, he is far too handsome to permanently mark his beautifully, smooth skin. Perfect people like him should not have tattoos.

1. Australia's Lucas Neill

Okay. Mr. Neill is incredibly hot, no question asked, and he is Australian - always a plus! Besides his amazing body (a tiny bit chunkier than the rest, something I appreciate), he's also got a more "mature" look - the others look young-ish-er, he actually looks 30-something and, well, I like my seasoned men, thank you very much. However, every dude in this top5 also has a nice face and a nice body. I gave Lucas Neil the top spot because he has something that sets him apart from the rest, besides having tried to fondle Cristiano Ronaldo's testicles:

Yeah, the ass. I can't help it... the moment I saw this pic in Kickette I knew Lucas Neill had earned the number one spot. Hell, I might add that huge booty to my list of favourite asses ever. Thank you so much for that gigantic ass, Mr. Neill!

Honorable mentions: Italy's Gianluigi Buffon (so HOT, I feel bad not including him in this post - should've made a top6!) USA's Benny Feilhaber (so damn cute, I wanna hug him to death, and he knows how to make fun of himself too! I love a good sense of humour), Portugal's Cristiano Ronaldo (he would be in this top5 if he didn't look like he spent more time in the beauty salon than the girl he supposedly dates - the man's got one of the best pair of legs in this world), every goddamed Spanish player (in my fantasies they fuck themselves after the matches), the Latins Diego Lugano from Uruguay and Roque Santa Cruz from Paraguay, and you can't really forget David Beckham, even if he didn't play.

Most overrated: Iker Casillas. Can't see why the fuss surrounding him, really.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

random tidbits

- I have an essay to write, but whenever I lay my eyes on the texts I have to read I fall asleep like a narcoleptic dog. Studying sucks.

- Brazil x Ivory Coast just ended and, wow, it was a damn bloodbath. Didier Drogba, being the tall sexy muscular black man he is, was the only redeeming feature of that horrendous team. Appaling lack of sportsmanship. Bad refereeing was also bad.

- I started watching True Blood yesterday with by boyfriend and I was obviously instantly hooked. Sam Merlotte is the sexiest American man on TV right now, holy Jesus what a fine man. I only watched the first 5 episodes and I'm dying to see the rest. Sookie's grandmother is IDENTICAL to my late grandmother, it's spooky.

- August is coming up and to all Mens Love nerds, like myself, it means one thing: NatsuKomi! Personal God and part-time manga artist Shoutaroh Kojima already reported that he's trying his best to come up with a new book for the event. Thankfully, he says that every Comiket and he never failed to deliver so far - let's hope he's able to keep that perfect record. Drawn muscle oyaji porn by Kojiman, what else could a fanboy ask for?

Wednesday, June 16, 2010


World Cup started, with all the expected fuss and chaos. Nothing new here. Those damn horns make watching the matches a MAJOR pain (I was watching England vs USA and after a few minutes I felt the intense desire to MURDER an African), but if I had to choose the one thing that makes me rage the most about World Cup it would be Brazilians rooting for Italy. Really, EVERY Brazilian has some Italian on it, only having an italian family name doesn't make you a unique snowflake, or truly Italian for that matter. Seeing those douchebags with NOTHING remotely Italian on them, no tradition, no language, no connection other than distant ancestry and a name calling themselves Italians is cringeworthy. Funny how this goes in line to what I said earlier about Brazilians not really liking to be Brazilian!

I refuse to support Italy solely due to the fact my great-grandparents were born there. I bet if I moved to Italy they would treat me as a second rate citizen anyway, fuck Berlusconi and fuck Italy. I hope they drop soon. I'm rooting for France, because Franck Ribéry is mai waifu (so ugly, but so awesome <3), and (Brazilians will hate) Argentina, because I love Maradona (...even though seeing him naked might be a disturbing mindfuck) and Lionel Messi is a frigging monster.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

patriotism and derrière

Despite the incoming faux-patriotic surge roused by the World Cup I cannot say Brazilians truly like being Brazilian. "Brazilianhood" is more of a sad fact of life you learn to accept, like earthquakes and religious fanatics. And I say that being of Italian-Spanish-Portuguese-Indian ascent, the most common possible ancestries here in São Paulo. I’m as ordinary a Brazilian as they come (sucky, eh).

We have some few good stuff in here. Food, language, Eddy Gordo and the butts. Brazilians tend to have great asses. But even when it comes to that very welcome quality, I don't thing we are number one. Even though my favourite men in this world are Australian, Scottish, English and Mexican, my current favourite male behinds are from a Spaniard and two Americans. No Brazilians included.

The Spanish butt is from Rafael Nadal, who I would guess doesn't require further commentary (Nadal wedgies For The Motherfucking Win, his wedgies are the sole reason I even know there exists a sport called tennis).

The Americans butts are from a random gorgeous camguy called Jesse Gates (here's a naughty video) and the Patrick Kerney. Kerney's butt must have been handcrafted by God himself, seriously - it's my favourite in this world. In fact, I'd say football players have the sexiest posteriors ever, followed closely by rugby players. Lovely how all those manly sports are non-existent in here - instead we have god-damned FOOTBALL and all those hideous looking players as the national passion. Ugh.
(although... I have to admit there's a handful of good looking football players, none of them from Brazil, obviously - it's like Brazilians have to be facially deformed in order to perform well in the pitch)

I really can’t think of many Brazilians who can compare to Kerney, Jesse and Nadal, and I'm subject to several hot behinds every day. The closest one I can think of is this massive booty from this tall hot blond guy from work. Clearly Brazil is outclassed even in its greatest asset... but, well, it's World Cup, we're the football country, go Brazil! ...oh God, why was I born here. *sigh*