world cup's finest men

In celebration of my country's triumph over Chile, I decided to honour the finest men in this World Cup in the form of a top5.

5. Portugal's Raul Meireles

Being young and balding might a kinda crummy combination, but Meireles actually pulls it off quite nicely. Admittedly, he's a bearded Portuguese man and I cannot resist bearded Portuguese men. And those tattoos are really hot... it might sound contradicting but I hate most tattoos. Raul's actually suit him and make him even hotter. Probably because he isn't handsome, but hot in a thuggish way (I love hot thuggish men).

4. Spain's Gerard Piqué

He gives me that Jake Gyllenhaal vibe for some reason, but I find him much sexier than Gyllenhaal. The beard, the eyes and the "rape me please" face. And the body. And... hell, everything, Piqué is amazing in every aspect. Seeing him on the pitch makes me feel like sexually molesting him. I only didn't rate him higher because the top3 is mind-blowing. The whole rumors of him being gay just added to my fantasies and made me love him more.

3. Italy's Daniele de Rossi

Having to order the top3 is a rather pointless endeavour, the guys are simply incredible. I could as well have picked a random order - DDR is number 3 but that doesn't mean he's undeserving of being number two or one (in fact, I think I might be in love with him). He's kinda of a young Daniel Craig, one of my favourite men ever, period, except he manages to look BETTER than DC with his scruffy beard. He also has a penchant for stripping on the pitch (nffffff how can I not love him!), and from what we can see through the underwear, he's nicely endowed. Hot bearded Italian with a big dong who's into taking his clothes off: perfection.

2. USA's Carlos Bocanegra

Ahh, Captain America. He must be the one of the hottest Mexicans ever: Mr. Nice Guy look, beautiful eyes, nice hair, nicely trimmed stubble, great body hair, deliciously thick thighs, sure as hell can take photos, he looks great in every pic I've seen of him. Bocanegra (what a funny name) has got it all. He reminds me of those models in sites like All American Guys, being so perfect in every way it's almost like he's made of plastic. The only flaw I can think of is his arm tattoo, he is far too handsome to permanently mark his beautifully, smooth skin. Perfect people like him should not have tattoos.

1. Australia's Lucas Neill

Okay. Mr. Neill is incredibly hot, no question asked, and he is Australian - always a plus! Besides his amazing body (a tiny bit chunkier than the rest, something I appreciate), he's also got a more "mature" look - the others look young-ish-er, he actually looks 30-something and, well, I like my seasoned men, thank you very much. However, every dude in this top5 also has a nice face and a nice body. I gave Lucas Neil the top spot because he has something that sets him apart from the rest, besides having tried to fondle Cristiano Ronaldo's testicles:


Yeah, the ass. I can't help it... the moment I saw this pic in Kickette I knew Lucas Neill had earned the number one spot. Hell, I might add that huge booty to my list of favourite asses ever. Thank you so much for that gigantic ass, Mr. Neill!

Honorable mentions: Italy's Gianluigi Buffon (so HOT, I feel bad not including him in this post - should've made a top6!) USA's Benny Feilhaber (so damn cute, I wanna hug him to death, and he knows how to make fun of himself too! I love a good sense of humour), Portugal's Cristiano Ronaldo (he would be in this top5 if he didn't look like he spent more time in the beauty salon than the girl he supposedly dates - the man's got one of the best pair of legs in this world), every goddamed Spanish player (in my fantasies they fuck themselves after the matches), the Latins Diego Lugano from Uruguay and Roque Santa Cruz from Paraguay, and you can't really forget David Beckham, even if he didn't play.

Most overrated: Iker Casillas. Can't see why the fuss surrounding him, really.