fanboy memoirs - part 1

(this is a self-biographical post about how I came to know what is now widely know in the western world as "bara" - gay porn comics drawn by Japanese artists. I've been a huge enthusiast since its very early steps in the English-speaking side of the wide internet, and after its surge of popularity in recent days, I felt like explaining how I relate to it. It's very long, so I split it in a couple posts. The second part will be published shortly)

When I came to terms with being gay, in the late 90s, I was still a young teenager and a major anime-manga junkie. I figured there had to be other gay people like me (gay men who liked manga) and, having already seen and liked some Western gay art, I was determined to search for something similar -except manga-styled. I wanted Japanese comics aimed at gay men. I obviously couldn't be the only person in the world who would be into that!

At first, the closest thing I found was yaoi. It's a style of comics drawn by women that focus on romantic relationships between men. First thing you notice about it is that men in yaoi are terribly effeminate, extremely thin, long haired, with long eyelashes. Some even wore make up and were barely distinguishable from women. But that's because yaoi isn't only drawn by women: it's also aimed at women - and Japanese women at that, who usually prefer their men soft and delicate. It was never meant to cater to gay men, and thus it never appealed to me. Disappointing.

However, one day, to my surprise, I found an artist who drew some very peculiar yaoi. Her name was Inuhiko Murano. That was some good eight or even nine years ago. I found her Gakuran Tengoku (School Uniform Paradise) book - six or seven stories about high-school teenagers, with a focus on sport clubs. They had short hair, muscles, some even had body hair - but, most important of all, they were anything but feminine. They were perfectly shounen-manga style. And they were having sex with each other. It was then that I noticed that yes, more people liked what I liked. Exactly what I liked, as a matter of fact. And there had to be more of that.

So I started looking where I should have been looking from the start: Japanese sites. And in my searches I found several artists who drew porn featuring characters I liked from manga and anime. It was everything I could ever ask for. By then, I came to learn the term uncanny accuracy everything I liked and was looking for. And best of all? There were other people who not only liked oyaji but were also immensely talented artists to boot. First one I found was the good old Masanori and his Rival Schools artwork, in the ancient year of 2002. I was in heaven.

But it was looking for more Inuhiko Murano - the girl who drew shounen yaoi I mentioned on the paragraph above - that I found out the one site that changed my very life forever.

(to be continued)

dancing with the stars

I must be an oddball among nerds, since I had no previous knowledge of Star Trek whatsoever. I had a very neutral stand on the series: it never seemed to be something I needed to watch, but it wasn't something I would never watch. I knew nothing at all about it, yet I never felt compelled to get to know it. But it wasn't something I would avoid at all costs.

I got excited about the movie when I read somewhere that it was reminiscent of Star Wars. Not because I'm a Star Wars fanboy either, I watched each movie exactly once and that's it for my SW experience (although I must admit I'm looking forward to the to-be-released Star Wars MMO, The Old Republic). But rather because I thoroughly enjoy the very "Indiana Jones" feeling of the SW movies. I can't really describe it (and maybe it's the Indiana Jones movies that have a SW feeling?), but, in a sense, I'm less interested on the details of the stories themselves (Jedi, aliens, the Force etc) than on how the stories are. And I was expecting the Star Trek movie to convey the same silly, pulpy feeling too.

After watching it, I must say I wasn't disappointed. Maybe the Trekkies didn't like the movie very much. But me, a Star Trek virgin? I loved every moment. It does have the feeling I was hoping for, and the fact Kirk is terribly hot, in an overgrown teenager sort of way, didn't exactly get in the way. Even though I didn't feel attached to the character as an old time fan would, I loved every single dialogue of Old Spock.

...but, to me, the doctor Leonard McCoy was the highest point of the movie. Not only the character himself is terribly fun (the "ordinary guy thrown into a mess" type of character always get me), the actor, Karl Urban, whom I didn't know previously, is exceedingly sexy. On the first scene he appears, I was this close to melting on my seat - that facial hair, oh my God. Montgomery Scott was also a sweet character (I also have a thing for the token comic Brit - geez I like everything) played by that cutie called Simon Pegg.

Here's highly anticipating a sequel.
(preferably one with more scenes involving Scotty and McCoy!)

pride and joy

Apparently today's the Geek Pride Day!

I think of myself as primarily a videogame nerd. I'm not always up-to-date with technologic gadgets, I don't care much about Star Trek (never watched anything on it before the movie last week), Star Wars or Lord of the Rings (I actually fell asleep on the second movie and couldn't get past the first 50 pages in the books), I've never played those type of Role Playing Games you buy books and roll dices (only card games, like Pokémon and Magic: the Gathering - I've played a fair amount of those). I guess I could be considered a "retired otaku", since back in the day I've read lots of manga and followed several anime series - I've even done cosplay! But after many years I've burned out and I don't care that much about Japanese media (except Japanese porn), at least not nearly as much as when I was a teenager.

However, videogames have always been a part of my life, and still are. I started playing NES and SEGA MasterSystem back when I was 5, and I don't think I've never spend more than a month (maybe even a week) without playing a game. We gamers are seemingly a type of geek that's not as widely regonized as the others I've mentioned above, but, still, we're very important - didn't videogames recently surpass Hollywood movies in sale figures and are now among the largest entertainment industries? It's time every nerd started to show proper respect to us game geeks. :)

I should have celebrated by not going to work or class and indulging myself in a 16-hour WoW marathon. But I didn't - too bad. Regardless, may all fellow geeks have a very pleasant and nerdy day. :)

world of cocaine

I started playing World of Warcraft back in October 2007. Back then, my life was devoid of any obsessions besides the usual ones that have become so everyday they can barely be considered true obsessions anymore - namely, oyaji and porn. My nerd life felt very empty. A few months earlier that year I had started my current job. After paying my debts, I decided to burn all the leftover money in a new PC and two WoW CD-Keys. One was for myself, the other, for my boyfriend.

We've been hopelessly addicted ever since.

WoW is a remarkable gaming experience. Even if you are a hater (and there's a lot of those), it's hard not to recognize it has some very strong qualities. My previous MMO experience was limited to Ragnarok Online (*vomits*) and the scale of immersion just can't be compared. It makes you feel attached. Everything in Wow seems built to make you crave for more, no wonder it is and has been such a huge sensation.

But, truth be told: WoW is a horrible thing. It can turn you into a lifeless zombie. It might end up becoming something too important in your daily schedule, to the point of making you eschew every other form of entertainment you used to enjoy just to play WoW. The worst part? You won't mind it being a brainless, Blizzard-controlled monkey, because it's the kind of horrible thing that you enjoy. Kinda like drugs.

I don't think I would recommend World of Warcraft to anyone, as I'm fully aware of the dangers of addiction. But I'm a lost cause myself... and that's part of the reasons I decided to start this blog: it can serve as a healthy alternative to WoW. Other videogames these days don't thrill me anymore, I'd rather play WoW that the crap developers have been constantly delivering. Could writing a blog about things I like - videogames and guys - be the cure to my disease? Time will tell. :)

a simple introduction

After debating for a long time, I decided to make a blog.

I'm Red, a huge nerd from São Paulo, Brazil who happens to be gay. I'm rather clueless when it comes to most gay stuff, but I'm as geeky as they get. Expect most of my posts to deal with nerdy stuff, especially videogames (I'm a videogame fanatic almost since birth), with some gay stuff thrown in between.

For starters, here's a short explanation on the meaning of the blog's title. The "complex" part is meant to be a pun on lolikon, or "lolita complex": a sexual attraction to underage girls, fairly common among otaku. However, the object of my attraction is the polar opposite of underaged girls - it's overaged guys. There's not a precise Japanese term for that "fetish". So I took the liberty of making one up, just for kicks, and for that I used the japanese word for "daddy": oyaji (check the Wikipedia entry for a more through explanation, examples included). Oyaji tends to be used by my fellow gay nerds to refer to the typical older characters in manga, anime and videogames - usually bearded, muscular and gruffy. I have an unhealthy fixation on oyaji - which basically means I really like old guys (not only, of course, but I'm especially fond of them).

I'll try to write a proper post later.