being sexless

I went into surgery on Tuesday and I can't have sex or masturbate for one month.

These have possibly been the longest five days in my life. I don't think I ever wanted something to end so badly as I want these 30 days. Maybe graduation... yeah the last semester of university was a nightmare. But then, at least I could touch myself at night (and day, and afternoon).

A porn addict unable to masturbate must be one of God's finest ironies.

pseudoitalianism

World Cup started, with all the expected fuss and chaos. Nothing new here. Those damn horns make watching the matches a MAJOR pain (I was watching England vs USA and after a few minutes I felt the intense desire to MURDER an African), but if I had to choose the one thing that makes me rage the most about World Cup it would be Brazilians rooting for Italy. Really, EVERY Brazilian has some Italian on it, only having an italian family name doesn't make you a unique snowflake, or truly Italian for that matter. Seeing those douchebags with NOTHING remotely Italian on them, no tradition, no language, no connection other than distant ancestry and a name calling themselves Italians is cringeworthy. Funny how this goes in line to what I said earlier about Brazilians not really liking to be Brazilian!

I refuse to support Italy solely due to the fact my great-grandparents were born there. I bet if I moved to Italy they would treat me as a second rate citizen anyway, fuck Berlusconi and fuck Italy. I hope they drop soon. I'm rooting for France, because Franck Ribéry is mai waifu (so ugly, but so awesome <3), and (Brazilians will hate) Argentina, because I love Maradona (...even though seeing him naked might be a disturbing mindfuck) and Lionel Messi is a frigging monster.

patriotism and derrière

Despite the incoming faux-patriotic surge roused by the World Cup I cannot say Brazilians truly like being Brazilian. "Brazilianhood" is more of a sad fact of life you learn to accept, like earthquakes and religious fanatics. And I say that being of Italian-Spanish-Portuguese-Indian ascent, the most common possible ancestries here in São Paulo. I’m as ordinary a Brazilian as they come (sucky, eh).

We have some few good stuff in here. Food, language, Eddy Gordo and the butts. Brazilians tend to have great asses. But even when it comes to that very welcome quality, I don't thing we are number one. Even though my favourite men in this world are Australian, Scottish, English and Mexican, my current favourite male behinds are from a Spaniard and two Americans. No Brazilians included.

The Spanish butt is from Rafael Nadal, who I would guess doesn't require further commentary (Nadal wedgies For The Motherfucking Win, his wedgies are the sole reason I even know there exists a sport called tennis).


The Americans butts are from a random gorgeous camguy called Jesse Gates (here's a naughty video) and the Patrick Kerney. Kerney's butt must have been handcrafted by God himself, seriously - it's my favourite in this world. In fact, I'd say football players have the sexiest posteriors ever, followed closely by rugby players. Lovely how all those manly sports are non-existent in here - instead we have god-damned FOOTBALL and all those hideous looking players as the national passion. Ugh.
(although... I have to admit there's a handful of good looking football players, none of them from Brazil, obviously - it's like Brazilians have to be facially deformed in order to perform well in the pitch)


I really can’t think of many Brazilians who can compare to Kerney, Jesse and Nadal, and I'm subject to several hot behinds every day. The closest one I can think of is this massive booty from this tall hot blond guy from work. Clearly Brazil is outclassed even in its greatest asset... but, well, it's World Cup, we're the football country, go Brazil! ...oh God, why was I born here. *sigh*

a hate list

I hate...

... how my PC crashed for the millionth time this Monday and is currently inoperant. When you consider it's only two years and four months old, it shouldn't crash THAT often. I'm having to do with my previous machine, which is close to EIGHT years old and still running (like a God-forsaken lethargic snail, but it's something). I ordered myself a new PC already, but since it's FUCKING CARNAVAL in Brazil (grrr) it won't arrive until next Friday the earliest.

... how Cabaret was never released in Brazil and I have no legal way to watch the damned movie. I will likely have to resort to a torrent... which probably won't even work in the typrewriter I'm currently making use of. Grrr.

... how fucking long it's taking for new Glee episodes to be aired, I want my Idina Menzel goodness already! I promise if she doesn't sing anything Wicked I'll maim a puppy. It doesn't even have to be Defying Gravity... I'm okay with The Wizard and I. (*feels giddy*)

... how it's either scorching hot in São Paulo or raining cats and dogs (or raining cats and dogs while being scorching hot - never frogs though and for that I'm glad - frogs are kinda bloated and creepy). To add insult to injury, the rain usually starts pouring the exact moment I set foot on the street as I leave work. Why does it even have to be that way?

Geez, I need to get laid. Thankfully it's almost Saturday!